blogging famine

Sometimes you dont want to have to let the online community in on whats going on in your life, because you spend every free minute you have with that one friend just pouring out whats going on and processing through everything that has happened. Sometimes its the times when you're at home that you are recouping from all of that, and I think thats probably been the case for me the last few months, to say the least.

This last year has been a rough one for me, but if i could go back in time to stop me from going through it, I wouldnt dare. God has been pushing me out of my comfort zone, because he hates when we get comfortable :) and its definitely been stretching. There are some friendships that have just been lifegiving water for me, and others that drain me and some that are lost completely. But through it all, God has been front and center. I'd love to say that I've grown from this, because i really think I have. I'm not in the same place with priorities and the things that consume my mind; lines have been more defined and new boundries have been put in place.

This is really vague, and I would love to spill out the specifics, but I dont feel thats really important, actually. I have seen passion pour out, as well as tears. I have seen people and been fine and seen others and ran out of stores. Its been full of ups and downs, but that doesnt mean that there hasnt been healing through it all. Part of the sermon I heard yesterday was talking about how an apple tree is an apple tree even when its young and not producing apples yet, as is it when its winter and all the leaves and fruit are gone; claiming an identity for that apple tree other than an apple tree would be a lie. Your identity isnt in the fruit that is currently being shown, but in the fruit that will be shown at the right time and what God has called you to.

So, though I have a fairly new home church, fewer friends that I expected last year, going off to nursing school in the fall, I am still a worshiper (even though im not on a worship team) and a leader (who isnt leading at all) and a list of many other things. They will be brought out of me in time, and I'm waiting patiently for that.