Reflection on a month-long refreshing

This trip has been all over the place for me. Issues have been dealt with, dreams have been revamped, boundaries have been pushed, ideas have been planted and friendships have been made.

I think the thing that I'm most going to walk away with is the feeling of me being stifled in who I am and working on de-stifling myself. Mom, if thats not a word, it is now!! :D

I gained so much freedom during worship while I was here. While it was almost impossible to get me to sing out during a normal service, I found myself doing it every song!! Its refreshing to know that people arent going to stop me because they are anxious to get on to the next thing or are nervous because there is silence and need to find something to fill that space. Silence can be one of the most beautiful things during worship, because thats when the Holy Spirit can minister to your heart at whatever level YOU are at.. not where the worship leader is or the person praying over you or anything like that.

I feel a huge empowering of my ability and what we're all called to do for/in the body of Christ. We have the authority to make water part, raise people from the dead, heal the sick. People just dont use it. There was a major impartation last night that the whole Bethel Church stretched out their hands for all 172 class members and I could literally feel my hands tingling and sort of burn in response to it. I can't wait to see whats going to unfold from that!

But I'm nervous to come home. I'd be lying if I said I wasnt. I dont want to have the walls that I spent so much time to take down just be put back up again. I dont want to worry if I'm being a distraction to people.. and I want the Holy Spirit to have freedom to do what he DARN WELL PLEASES during worship. Thats the freedom that I have had this last month. What's going to happen to my spark once I come into an environment that says that they are ok with that stuff, when in reality it seems like its an unspoken taboo?

I have changed. you cant go back to who you were once you've really changed, because YOU'RE CHANGED! This change is going to stay. I hope the church can handle that.